Late Bloomer Survival Guide:
Questions/Advice
Answers from TikTok to keep your conversations going!​
kittensnuggler
1. What is their favorite word(s) or phrases? For instance, some of mine are discombobulated, indubitably, frazzled.
2. What are the favorite 5 books they have ever read and why. What are the last 3 books they read?
3. Ask them what they could give a 30-60 min presentation on, with no prep, that Is not job related. Tells you what their passions are.
4. Not specifically nerdy, but used to weed people out: what does feminism mean to them and how do men benefit from it?
5. I also highly recommend sharing favorite music. Even better if they can share a playlist. Music is so telling about a person!
6. What is the ultimate answer, the universe, and everything? Bonus points if they ask you if you have your towel and say don’t panic.
vellace9
One I’ve been debating adding to mine is asking them their favorite book. Fboys will reveal themselves.
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giriffraffe
Ask them to list 3 women they look up to who aren’t their friends, family, or someone they know/knew in real life.
eireventure
Ask who their top 5 comedians are. If they only name men and they don’t find women funny, run.
bustbruiser
Ask if they wash their legs or just let the soapy water run down their legs. It tells a lot about them.
michelle.lynn79
Before I met my guy, I just started asking after a week if they wanted to meet or nah. My time is precious and I don’t want to waste it anymore.
zi_619
Maybe try “small talk isn’t my favorite. Wanna have a phone/video call?” Some guys don’t like it but the interested ones will oblige. Since you don’t like small talk (it fatigues me too) it doesn’t hurt to ask to hear their voice—so much easier to see if convo flows. Also asking questions like “tell me about your favorite part of the holidays,” or “what’s something you’re looking forward to this year?” Open ended.
andreamdhey
When I was doing apps—some convo about things from their profile. But then I would say I wasn’t interested in endless messaging and either they’d say “let’s get together” or try to keep messaging or ghost, and I wouldn’t care. It’s exhausting and let’s face it—you don’t know any of these people and won’t ever find out if you want to know them more until you meet them in rea life. Also, you can’t even think of anything on the app before meeting as a kind of rejection. You literally don’t know them at all at that point, and it’s just another message.
kincaidium
What’s the last belief they changed their mind about? Love or loyalty? Soft lie or hard truth? Name a woman they admire.
sarahsarah123454
I would try and ask questions about their profile. What? They don’t have an interesting profile? Shocker. Probably not going to be a long conversation. I found it frustration because it’s soooooo common, but guys who cannot keep a conversation going without me constantly asking questions are not going to be interesting to me. And I found that what keeps me going, and them being interesting, is I try to make a conversation feel less “interview-y.” So for me, that means ask a question and then try to not as a question a bit and chat.
eringobrah1
What would your exes say if I asked about you? What are some traumas you’re healing from? How do you handle conflict? How do you handle money?
esarah1998
Ask: if you could take me on a date what would we do? See how much effort they put into planning.
megankappes
I’m just generally of the belief that if the vibes aren’t there initially, you don’t need to wait for them. My boyfriend opened with a smaller detail of my profile, and the conversation just flowed freely from there. I think that’s the best way to do things because you don’t need to make typical small talk and get to know every person. You need to know if you enjoy chatting with them before you get all your lives’ details.
tori.meets.world
If you could do absolutely anything with your weekend, what would it be?
tarac_xx
I tell them where I’m from and I ask if they’ve ever been there. This prompts them to suggest a date so I can ‘show them around.’
hannyjpack
Don’t be afraid to ask deeper, weird questions as icebreakers. People who dislike it are bad at conversation and not interesting in the long run.
purplepug64
I typically go for the controversial stuff pretty quick because it shows if we are like minded or not. Also stating my hard no’s seem to help.
aayolex
If they could direct their own movie, who would star in it, what is the genre, what is the opening and closing scene? Whoever they have starring in their film tells you so much about who they admire and opens up a world of conversation. Or what does the opening and closing scene look like. The genre gives you a sense of their personality.
doggosnme
If you truly want to find your forever person, ask the deep shit fast. What are your relationship goals? Pets? Kids? Traveler? Religion? Food? Lifestyle?
isabeldazeem
Try to make a witty joke or ask a question about a specific part of their profile. Messaging is so tedious, especially given the majority of people you match with are going to bring zero effort/intention to the conversation. It’s a slog. Being direct about want to meet up quickly is also great (a lot of people prefer it to messaging purgatory).
borderlinebabe27
People show their character when they talking about something they’re passionate about. Find something specific in their profile and ask them about it. And if he says “I’m a nice/good/funny guy,” he definitely isn’t.
ieannbyrd1
Ask them if they’re a feminist. This will weed out A LOT!
nicoleknks
Ask about what they do to take care of themselves or improve themselves.
carleesue07
“Let’s just get this out of the way—what’s your most controversial opinion?”
mickelsoer
What were your favorite cartoon shows growing up? How do you spend an ideal day? Do you wash between ya cheeks?
juicebox814
My favorite question to ask is: “If we are on a road trip and stop at a gas station, what snacks/drinks are you picking? Then ask what’s the destination and if they can pick 3 attractions on the way and what would they be. I can usually tell based off the answers if we are going to mesh or not. I find that the conversation needs to start off with a broad topic or fun question in order to have the best flow. Otherwise you get stuck with the “Hi, how was your day?”
scallopbunny
Asking what the last book they read that was written by a woman that was good. Also “kittens for hands or slugs for feet?”
kristini_miller
If they don’t ask questions in return, don’t bother with the effort. It won’t be better if you go on a date with them.
rogos77
I did online dating for 8 years. I met my husband on an app. The thing is, if he wanted to he will. He was the only one who took the lead and asked me out and put in the right amount of effort. I also had a rule that if we didn’t have a date set to meet within two weeks of talking, I moved on.
mcaple1985
If they can keep a conversation going for a bit, I give my actual number for an actual phone call and for them to plan a date. Last guy who did that is now my boyfriend, so effort pays off. 😊
centralildisneymom
I would play the “random fact game” with guys. Back & forth telling random facts about ourselves. You learn a lot very quickly.
kallimcqueen
I like asking random shit, like what’s your least favorite condiment or what would be your Real Housewives tagline.
perfectly_kaylee
I started telling them to impress me. It teaches you a lot about them no matter what.
doogaloo215
I was in your shoes, almost exactly. It sounds weird. But I asked guys what their oddest or worst dates have been. It tells me what they are looking for in a person or an experience and then I can also chime in with mine. No names obviously. But it has led to some good laughs.
hekeled2020
Ask they their top 5 podcasts. If they don’t listen to podcasts, then their favorite news.
sabell518
I would given them X days to ask for my number. If they didn’t I gave it to the them. Then gave X days to ask me out. If not I asked them out. I found it was the quickest way to get a physical date and found that messaging and meeting in person sometimes produced two different people.
sashaprice06
Another idea: don’t feel the need to be solely responsible for the convo. If he does not make an effort, let the conversation die and move on!
blackunicorn.3
“What’s your idea of a great date?” be aware of love bombers. They are usually narcissistic or scammers.
thetypenerd
My weed out was my (now) husband gave my book by my favorite author that I hadn’t read instead of flowers on our first date. Knew he was a keeper.
marvelous.ms.rachel
A good conversation started for me is: “What was your weirdest field trip?”
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love.emily.creative
My opening question is “what was your childhood dream job?” And then based on their willingness to chat about that I will continue chatting. I do not continue speaking to people who can’t hold at least 40% of the conversation load.
arieltziona0
What’s the song that pulled you out of a dark time? Who is your best friend and why? If you could plan a dinner party, what 5 people would you invite?
amymh610
If you could be any Muppet, who would it be and why (insight into personality. Kermit = super star, leader. Scooter = behind the scenes, real leader. Animal = chaos. Fozzie bear = funny guy, loyal. Gonzo = sex maniac). Also, tell me about your childhood best friend? Your best friend now? (can they maintain a relationship? Will they depend on you for all their emotional support?)
jennotjenny
You learn a lot about a person by asking “On a scale from 1-10, how bad is your road rage?”
ismyfacered
My most successful online dating experience was with a guy who wanted to video chat immediately. It really helped break the ice. Bold but helpful.
jessicas1029
My friend just said she always asks about their opinions on aliens & physics. No right answer, but how they answer says everything.
weirdhonie
I put on my profile prompt that I like men who plan dates out and are gentlemen. From then on out that’s exactly what I got!
zigzagnation
Ask about what their goals are in life. Talk about moral alignment. Ask would you rather do this or that. Ask about how they have grown as a person.
eightyeightbananas
I often went with: “Imagine we’re getting froyo, what flavor/toppings combo are you getting?” Or I’d ask them what their favorite dinosaur is and why, or if they had a favorite niche thing they knew a lot about as a kid.
sugarpaquett
#redflag If he mentions your body in any sexual way. #redflag Doesn’t ask you questions. Those are all my conversation enders. But all my pics are conversation starters. A selfie with a favorite book has lead to my best convos.
sarah1567290
Sometimes it’s hard to hard the conversation over the app. If you’re interested (and want the experience of going on dates), try making the first move!
meatieokraart
Ballroom dancing class? The apps are like … not the best for finding quality people. It’s like going to the grocery store to pick up love.
wildfloweralchemy
My advice would be to do it. Jump on the apps. Meet some people for coffee. Drinks. Dinner. A Museum. There will be bad/awkward dates. That’s part of it.
whitneydeere
What about matchmaking services? Can’t be any worse than the apps. The guys would probably be more serious about finding love anyway. The people our age dating all seem to meet either at work or through friends. I know it’s harder cuz the older we get the more baggage we all have.
jpax210
Date like an entitled white man. Go into it thinking that you are the prize, because it sounds like you are.
wheel_and_sing
Meet up with them as soon as possible. Chatting with someone in text does not showcase how their personality is in read life. Just think about it as though you’re hanging out with a new friend without expectation. It makes it so much less anxiety inducing. Also make sure you look less attractive in your photos than you are in real life cause when they see you, they’ll be like DAMN. Works every time.
tinagee1111
Here’s my recommendation: you need to get in touch with your sexuality somehow. Find your inner sex goddess and it will exude. Start flirting with people in other cars for practice. Eye contact and smiling.
ranonkeldroom
1. Don’t spend too much time chatting before you meet. Obviously make sure they seem deeper/safe. But text is a terrible means of communication for the deeper stuff.
2. You can’t really tell if something is there until you meet in person. Some people are great texters/boring IRL. Some people are bad texters/boring in IRL.
3. Ask them out.
beckywiththebeani
Use the apps to practice talking to people in your authentic voice and improve your banter game. If you find one you like, as them out. You will talk to many people not worth your time. Don’t take it personally. Focus on growth and don’t settle until someone matches your energy. Lastly: don’t be afraid of bad dates. They make fun stories.
ayoung31457
Get dressed up and go out to a nice restaurant and sit at the bar. Something may come out of it or it may not. Dating is trial and error.
qwertyuiopasdf1234_
Get outside your comfort zone by experimenting without caring about the outcome.
1. As far as getting hit on, do you know how to flirt or look approachable?
2. Dating apps are a crap shoot, but it’s still a good way to meet people. I’ve had terrible experiences, but I didn’t find my amazing perfect match on there. So don’t take it so seriously and just see it as a game until the right one comes along.
kelly.g85
1. Realize you are a badass and embrace it.
2. Write down what you want in a partner and don’t settle.
3. Go on the apps and date and have fun!
tlillustrates
Ask your friends to set you up, or go to a brewery by yourself with a cute dog. Get there a ½ hour earlier than your friend. Sit alone at a steakhouse or bar at happy hour time. Etc. Basically find ways to go alone to places you suspect your target man would be. Good luck!
merlin1297
Get on the apps. Get on them with the intention of strengthening your social skills around men and to have fun. Enjoy the dates and chats.
giriffraffe
1. The talking stage should not be so long. People let it go on past anyone’s enjoyment and it’s often not because they’re not interested. People only have so much capacity to keep investing time and emotional/mental effort into someone they don’t know. So know each other. Meet IRL.
2. If you have ten substantial back and forths with someone on a dating app, and you’re both still vibing, ask HIM out. I have found men are way to hesitant/nervous to ask you out. Seriously, they are thrilled you did and turned on by your confidence.
3. Don’t count on your first date being magical. Expectations should be that you have a nice conversation and learn about a new person. Anything beyond is a bonus. Most likely you’ll have fun.
4. Only swipe right on people who put effort into their profile and who demonstrate in your convo that they have read your profile and can ask you questions.
gialeoc21
I think you should plan a trip to Italy and give it a whirl there!
jessicas1029
I met my boyfriend on Bumble and feel like I’ve had success with the app. My advice is to just go on dates quickly, don’t do weeks of talking (or even days). Get comfortable going on them. Go on one or two a week. Coffee. A drink. Dinner. Ask them out even. Most will be duds, but you’ll get more comfortable and find better ones.
astridlunaxo
Go out to places and whenever you see someone you like, compliment them and maybe flirt a little. Sometimes you have to be the one to start it.
siren_sesa
Just push yourself to talk to new people. Maybe go to places further from where you live so if you feel uncomfortable after than you never have to go back.
loonview
“Who did you vote for in 2020?”
nicoledenisevdwes
“If you could time travel who would you want to meet and why?” Or what time period would they choose and why?
shenaz_21
“What was your Spotify Wrapped for (2022) like?” I think you can tell a lot about a person from their taste in music